Life as a Pretzel...

Matchpoint...

2010-08-02T00:53:00.001+08:00

Honestly...this is the most honest time I ever had...both not expecting anything,just enjoying each other company and let time pass...

Attraction @ First Encounter...

2010-07-07T21:18:00.001+08:00

Love at first sight it is not
Denying the attraction I cannot
Who is he to make the heart flutter so
That in smiles was all I can do
A sport bar was our setting
A match was our reason for meeting
Conversation flowed freely
Easy banter turned flirty
Meet again shall we?
A grin, a nod, I can only think of the maybe...

Guess I was mistaken...

2010-05-19T21:45:00.001+08:00

I get it...I finally get it...I do...that's the max it is...thank you though,not matter what.

Reservation...

2010-05-18T08:29:00.001+08:00

Tweeting is my guilty pleasure...the place that I can praise,compliment,rant,bitch,whine basically abt anything with just few selected friends knowing them and a whole lot of random online strangers who I doubt they really care what I'm yakking about. For the past one year I have played the role of a listener,keeping quiet most of the time during social outing,preferring not to comment. Basically just trying very hard to blend in and this has somehow extend to my close circle. Less contribution,less judgement,less worry...no I'm not a bitch enough to heck care what others think...unfortunately so.
Is this the sign of growing older and being more reserve? Or the pill of experience is so bitter that I try so hard to avoid swallowing it again?
Yesterday as I kneeled down and pray,I began counting my blessing...my wonderful family,my loving sis,my friends who are different yet been with me throughout,my job,my recent encounter,my faith...yes,as tears of gratitute flowed down my cheeks I'm thankful.

Happiness...

2010-05-16T21:16:00.001+08:00

Being happy is pretty much a self decision isn't it? This trip somehow makes me realise its really time for me to settle down...settling down isn't such a bad choice really. I told this to Moo and she agreed. Ya, this year has been a year of revelation and blessing. Most importantly He made me see who I am and my surrounding.
This trip I guess I speak v little... Put myself more to listen, a little antisocial maybe I guess...but it does make me see more things...I finally get to understand my own position, I finally get to see her being happy... And that makes me realise I can be very happy too...simple can be very happy too...

Body and Me

2010-05-16T12:58:00.001+08:00

Being 30 makes me realise that hey I really need to take care of my body...I have come to realise that I will never look great skinny...no,I don't even look good slim. I need to be fleshy to look great. My face and collar bones tend to show the most when I lose weight. Really not a pleasant sight when you realise I look so haggard just to look tad slim. Yes, I am embracing my fleshiness and to my surprise many actually commented that I look fab this way. Well, fleshy is not gonna be flabby. I am totally inspired by Scarlet Johansson and if you remember I used to drool over this Playboy bunny body...erhm,not that I have her boobs size but with the help of some chicken fillets *grin* I think I will look tad similar hehehehe... I'm gonna be nice to my body wth the below:

1) Drink at least 2L of water everyday, even on weekends
2) Eat yoghurt everyday
3) Snacks shall be nuts and fruits
4) Swim half hour everyday,I really need to focus on this. Need to sleep early,I can do it and my body will love me for it
5) Eat my soya beancurd everyday, no junk fried beehoon
6) Start my day wth 1 cup of water wth lemon juice. I totally believe in this in helping to detox my stomach
7) Use my Indo lulur every evening and moisturize my skin. Be good to it and the skin will show its glow
8) Spend specific time wth Him, I will sleep better knowing I'm close to Him

Well, I think 8 is a good number and I have 3 weeks to my 2 weeks holiday. I want to show my glowing me :D

Goodbye with a smile :)

2010-03-04T21:44:00.000+08:00

That someone just announced he is finally attached. The photo I saw on FB, somehow a few days before I had this feeling that something is happening with him. I am happy for him, finally he is happy. Finally, he has gotten a great job and girl and his road in Indonesia is finally looking up and yes, I wish him the best. I was glad that that dark time of his, he shared it wth me. That honest fear and vulnerability, he trusted me wth them and finally he found his happiness once more.

I told him that I can no longer do random chat wth him now. I can't tease him now and out of respect, I decided to take a step back. He has taught me the most important thing that a good guy look for in a girl... Self Respect. Because of him, I make sure my action tally wth my words. Because of him, I choose to be honest and make sure my actions allow me to be honest. Because of him, I turn for the better.... all simply because he trusts me.

Thank you Mr B, your Pretzi will always pray for your happiness no matter what happen.

Boredom...what it's telling me

2010-03-04T21:41:00.002+08:00

I have to say boredom kills.... compare to boredom, I rather be busy at work... time ever passed so slowly and I hv nothing to be occupied on.

This week was the first time ever I manage to get out of my office at 6plus... a luxury I must say, finding myself wth nothing much to occupy myself till the time to go to bed is kinda fustrating... maybe its Him telling me to spend sometime in His Word and also to get myself closer to him

Recently I have been fascinated by Taiwan artist Vann Ness Wu, his walk wth Him, his openess towards his praises on Him and somehow it really makes me see that how many of us really spend time wth Him. I told myself recently that how close you want to be wth Him depends how much you let Him into your life... do we trust Him enough to believe that He will provide the best for us and if we face difficulties, are we secure enough to stop fretting? I'm enjoying myself being wth Him right now, amazing presence and I just cant stop myself from praising Him again and again and this feeling is really something I want to keep for the rest of my life.

Having said that, I must admit that setting aside time for Him has not been my priority right now... my prayers have been short and I didnt read my bible as much I wish to. Time for a change and this free time I have these days is telling me ,'Hey, you hv no excuse now not to spend time wth Him' :D

Bye bye....

2010-02-25T21:11:00.000+08:00

My 40cm long of 'burden'... I kept it right after my break up... in some way it was a shield for me... I thought I love it but most of the time, I never felt much attachment towards it... so ya, I snipped it off... finally and this is how I look now...

Great,ok,bleah?

Post Holiday Blues

2010-02-01T21:28:00.001+08:00

Is there really such thing? Idp asked me before I left if I had a good time...I did,I truly did, I guess if not I would not feel so blue right now...the great crowd,the amazing warmth,the laughter...those stuff makes me realise that indeed I miss being wth friends. Going back to empty apartment doesn't really help much actually...I had bad time sleeping yesterday.

Being back 'home'

2010-02-01T08:59:00.001+08:00

Finally,I am back...my short trip back to Jakarta had been pretty wonderful. I enjoyed my liquid session wth my new and not so new friends...somehow get to see two of them in different light,witty and interesting guys. Gotten closer to this wonderful new friend of mine Idp :) I enjoyed her company thoroughly...she was there for the fun of it and also patiently listen to my ranting. She took time and we click. I fully understand what others meant by when you lose something,He will give you back something even more wonderful...yes,I found that something in her :)

I get to meet new someone, the excitement of meeting someone new and knowing that he is really not too bad...I do have my reservation of the distance but who knows, hope is the evidence of faith isn't it :)

This trip also mark the end of my ranting...for half a year,my bitterness must have poisoned me slowly, I have ranted enough and upset enough. It's time to move on. Bitterness consumed my thoughts and stop me from getting my peace...Guard my heart,let it not be troubled...

I'm thankful that He has been kind and He has really shown the way...

Miss Matchy

2010-01-24T00:22:00.000+08:00

Hohohoho... finally I am able to find high heel sandals close shade to my Fendi Baby Spy... Though I must say it's been a year since I bought it... the flats was gotten like half year after much searching and honestly the first half of the year I barely carried the bag...

You see, I am one of those anal people who has to match their shoes wth their bags... I have no sense of style, I can see all those beautiful people who dress in all sort of colours and made them work but I can never feel put together if my bag and shoes dont match... I can't even stand if my bag hardware is in silver and my accesories are in gold.... I feel out of place and will never step out of the house.... recent trend we se exposed zipper on dresses and tops, I will match my zipper tone wth my bags and shoes' buckles...

Could it be my Virgo trait? I will tsk tsk at strangers sometimes making that 'mistake' ;p Is any of you, my dearest readers just like moi? Or am I just chanelling my Miss Match self?

Fresh and light...

2010-01-10T11:51:00.002+08:00

Doesn't this looks extremely yummy.... I feel happy eating this stuff ^^

Invictus

2010-01-10T11:49:00.000+08:00

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley (1849–1903)

Nelson Mandela had this short poem written on a scrap piece of paper while he was held in jail...Amazing man inspired by amazing poem who was written by amazing poet. Yes,we are master of our own fate,captain of our own soul...

Great Lazy Sunday - Oriole

2010-01-10T11:45:00.000+08:00

Perfect way to end a week don't you think? Eton Mess, a glassof white wine, Sunday papers.... lovely, lovely ^^

Urgh...

2010-01-06T21:22:00.001+08:00

I do not like this bitchy,impatient,curt me these days...
I do not appreciate this whiny,upset,feeling down me these days...
If purgatory is as such, God help me to make it fast...
I am looking forward for His good promise...resting in work
To You alone,Father...

Yet again...

2010-01-04T21:27:00.001+08:00

Was I disappointed? Not really...
Was I expecting it? Kind of...
Did I look forward to it? Somewhat I did...

Maybe...there is no maybe
That soft spot...is hardening somehow...

Another girlie outing - Spruce

2010-01-03T09:42:00.003+08:00

Nothing is better to do on Saturday than having a great girlie lazy lunch wth my dearest girls. 8 girls came together to celebrate New Year and A's birthday :) Lot's of presents exchanged, lots of laughter, lot's of girlie talks and most of all, lots of yummy food.

Spruce serves really yummy burgers, egg benedicts and everything else....as we ~~gobbled~~ savoured our food we wondered the bad reviews posted online. The food was wonderful... I was too busy chatting to take many pictured but I will add on soon when the rest starts sending their photos over ^^

Pardon for my v blurred, bad pictures... I was too hungry that my hands shook (more of lack of skill) ;p

I thought I couldn't stomach more food but I ended up cooking the below babies.... my oh my, so yummmmmyyyyyyy... just simple rock salt and garlic granules... heaven!

PS: Man, these BB taken pictures are really bad and I shamelessly post them in extra large mode... sorry peeps, will take better pics next time... I want my Canon S90 (finding excuse to buy one lol)

Resolution Time...

2010-01-03T09:26:00.000+08:00

Yes, it's the time of the year again.... I decided to keep them short and simple, well I know I am not that capable of keeping all anyway ;p

Here they are:

1) Fasting... I did my 40 days no meat fasting last year, purely for my faith to thank Him. This year, 4th of Jan I will start my 21 days no starch, no meat fasting. Will talk more on this next time

2) Serving my Rockidz ministry. I can't wait my year doing something for Him, it will begin my journey closer to children...

3)Swim everyday...

4)Eating healthy

5)Take time to meet new friends, new people, stop being a hermit

6)Travel to Spain... dear Father, let this dream be materialised :)

That's all now, what's yours? Happy New Year all ^^

My favourite Xmas Card

2010-01-01T20:58:00.000+08:00

From my BFF's kids lol..... aren't they the cutest?

Friendships

2010-01-01T20:55:00.000+08:00

This post is especially for my favourite friends....

This picture was taken on our 5th year knowing each other outing.... 5 years *beam* all started from our vanity to beauty and makeup at one of the girlie forum... love them all :)

Uni friends... taken at Pei's not so new home. The loveliest bunch of people... I still remember how I met Pei, we both went to wrong building for our sociology class... looked at each other with this blur sotong face and she with her geeky glasses blossomed to pretty young lady and happily married *beam*

They are the sole reason my JC life wonderful. My rock thru all times...

My bff...I know her for 21years... enough said ^^

Fleshy but Toned...

2010-01-01T20:19:00.000+08:00

Did I say I was fat before? Oh yes I did like... the last post. I am forever obsessed wth my weight, since I suffered from obesity most part of my childhood, dabbling wth anorexia (that's pretty scary) during my teenage years and gotten emotional abuse from an ex who said I hv old, saggy body (he was downright mean)...well, I have finally come in terms with my body now pretty much. I know I don't look too good thin, no 46kg for 153cm me is still tad too thin for my heavy bones body. 48kg is pretty much the right weight... tad on fleshy side but will look great wth right amount of toned abs ^^ Swimming, swimming.... hate period, bleah you just have to stop when it comes (too much info here)

Recently I have been obsessed wth this girl... she is the host for Bridget's Sexiest Beaches from Travel and Living.

Check out her sexy body! Ok, ignore her yummy boobs but look at her toned arms and legs... her rounded body but never flabby. If I were a man, I would worship her body *woohoo* This is what I aspire to have... man, she is deliscious.... I want to be deliscious too ^^

PS: I wanna her boobies too ;p

OMG!!!!

2009-12-28T07:58:00.001+08:00

Tell me this isn't true...Tell me it's all about water retention,bloat or whatever but not fat....argh! 50kg for someone 153 is insaneeeeee....Ok,I had like 6 parties for the past 2 weeks and I drank and ate ham or cheese every night but....boohoo...I need to detox and lose that crap FAST and ASAP!!!! *Whineeee*

Beary Love...

2009-12-25T23:12:00.003+08:00

Those little babies are my biggest love... kiddy, I know but maybe it's their chubby tummies, maybe it's their bashful smile... I just love them :)

Sometime, a lady want to be a lil girl ;p

Hahahahaha.... I am Sylar from Heroes.... I take in colours.... hahahahaha

Whine post...

2009-12-25T17:44:00.000+08:00

I am having sore throat... it feels like havin thorns in my throat and I am especially grouchy now... bah, it doesnt help wth getting a male friend who has been calling me Livvy asking me if I want company and if he should bring me food. I dont want company and I dont like being called Livvy or whatever other nicknames.... you are not my boyfriend and I dont fancy you so please stop the cutesy name calling please.

Merry Christmas....

2009-12-25T13:10:00.003+08:00

Wonderful message from Pastor Prince... He was borned to deliver us the good news that we are forgiven and loved. May next year be our best year ever.... Amen :)

A lil overdue...

2009-12-25T13:06:00.004+08:00

This is all last weekend stuff, but worth mentioning anyway :)

I must say my weekend has been nothing but lovely :) Good food, good company,fantastic movie that I watched...the 2 days were really well spent. Now,let me just do a recap.

Saturday:
Started the day with a quick swim,waiting for my part time helper to finish up her task before heading to my ever favourite Jap restaurant. Yes,it is Sun with Moon. What happened to my own promise of going to try new stuff every weekend? Lol ;p
Plan was twarted, a friend called up and asked for lunch and a favour. Lunch was decent enough but I was kinda irked by his request. He was asking me to take a look at his apartment and give suggestions on how to improve it. The request was flattering enough but the shock came when he asked me to move things around as well. I mean I am a girl and you asked me to move furniture? Doesn't help that his place is dirty. I know guy's place most of the time isn't bachelor's pad photo perfect but it looks like it has seen much cleaning for darn long time... The fact that he let me see it in that state mildly disturbed me now. I do not like dirty guy very much :(

Thank God, my evening fared much better...check out the popiah spread!

This is the first time I made my own popiah and kueh pitie...ashamed to say my popiah was a disaster, well I was too greedy and I didn't put the stuffing in correct order...it burst even before I managed to bite into it :p *greedy,greedy* oxtail stew wth mash was to die for, so was the turkey,the sausages etc,etc....

Pardon my terrible pictures (not that I always post good ones ;p)I couldn't try all of them...too busy talking and to shy to show everyone how greedy this new care group member ;p Yes,finally I managed to get going to care group. Yippeeee...this has indeed been a blessed year :D

Wanted to continue with Sunday but I think it should be another post, be right back :D

Fou.de Fa fa

2009-12-25T12:44:00.001+08:00

Doesn't this remind you of cafes in Australia? This lil hole in CBD area is really bustling with people during work days... the place is small and warm, friendly staffs made the day as well. I happened to be taking a course nearby and all I could think from the start of the course was eating something wth avocado and having a good cup of coffee lol...

This was what I had....egg, avocado sandwich and a flat white. The sandwich was clean, wholesome goodness, the coffee burnt my tounge :( it's a bad coffee... such a pity

Recently I have this fear of getting throat cancer from drinking or eating too hot stuff :( I am scareeeddddd....

Flavours 7107

2009-12-25T12:32:00.002+08:00

I finally realise too much of a good thing can really be a kill joy... even if you love it so much and think you can die and go to baboy heaven by having 10 dishes of baboy (pork in tagalog) We had our Xmas office lunch at this authentic Phillipino restaurant on Wednesday. Our big boss decided that since we all love crispy patta so much during all our outings, Phillipino cuisine would make such an interestng and very welcomed lunch outing. He had overdone himself with way too much pork dishes. I decided to post only 3 here... the rest of ~~a million~~ ten other pork dishes really don't matter much... honestly the crispy patta was really yum. By the way, crispy patta is crispy pork knuckle with vinegar dipping, not too unlike German pork knuckle. Food was good but it will be a long time I would want to eat another roast pork. It's tough to be a pig in Phillipine ;p

This drink is yummy and refreshing, albeit tad sweet....

Happiness...

2009-12-19T11:21:00.001+08:00

Don't you think that it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than just to be okay for your whole life?" Clare - The Time Traveller's Wife

Someone told me, for once he experience what it is to be truly in love and he has no regrets...maybe, this is what he meant...

Lil Paradise named Santorini...

2009-12-19T01:16:00.001+08:00

Taken on the most beautiful island I have ever seen... :)

I have always wanted to blow this up to poster size picture, frame it up and hang it on my bedroom wall.... Isn't looking so cheery? So much emotion for this trip and it's a trip where I decided I am strong enough for anything and fulfill my life long dream of going to the place I always wish to go...

Isn't the image picture perfect? :D

Everyday I Love You...

2009-12-19T01:05:00.001+08:00

For a long, long time... I know this is going to be THE song for my wedding. The song that represent the one who I am going to walk through this journey of life and every word, every sentence holds true and nothing more, nothing less...

Someone told me today the one for him is someone who will make him want to be a better person.... isn't it simple yet so true?

I don't know but I believe

That some things are meant to be

And that you'll make a better me

Everyday I love you

I never thought that dreams came true

But you showed me that they do

You know that I learn somethng new

Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny

Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)

And you'll never live until you love

With all your heart and soul.

It's a touch when I feel bad

It's a smile when I get mad

All the little things I am

Everyday I love you

Everyday I love you boy

Everyday I love you

'Cos I believe that destiny

Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)

And you'll never live until you love

With all your heart and soul

If I asked would you say yes?

Together we're the very best

I know that I am truly blessed

Everyday I love you

And I'll give you my best

Everyday I love you

Forgiveness...

2009-12-16T23:24:00.001+08:00

I teared when I read this...

When we genuinely forgive,we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us...

Certain Apprehension...

2009-12-16T20:25:00.002+08:00

I hv somehow reached to an age that I don't defy my mom's impression of others. I must agree that even though,maybe her choice of words may not be at its best but most of the time she is correct. Yes,nothing humble me more that finally admitting this to words that indeed she is right ;p I guess it really comes from all the experience all these years meeting with different people and her wisdom. Me, being the naïve one,I tend to get hurt again and again and make wrong choices.Maybe, to many of you will say it is easier said than done but this time I know I shouldn't be wasting anymore time.

I hv figured out that maybe to some, it is a tad harsh but I feel in the matter of heart, financial stability and what others define as nice is no longer enough. A person sincerity,the way he think about issues of life and how he deal with everyday matters really make a difference. My friend,Ing has recently commented on her status that 'friendship is not a big thing,it is a million lil things' Isn't relationship the same as well? We girls tend to want to see the future big picture so much that we close our eyes to those small lil things that we need to consider on.

Maybe it has been a nagging feeling of mine for a while that this particular someone isn't right,when she commented those I wasn't surprise nor was I answering back to his defence. No,I agree and I decide to follow her advice.

I told someone before,as much as we choose others, others choose us as well...it's not about 'oh,he has to accept me for who I am.' Yes,he must love and adore the real you. But is that real you worth loving for?

Simple pleasure...

2009-12-16T08:25:00.000+08:00

I was thinking of this plate of lovely like 5pm in the afternoon...predicting late night at work ahead,I was already plotting for susbtantial carb feast later on...sad to say,this plate of heaven was only ready to be inhaled like 5 hours later...I got home at 10 and the waiting for the pasta to cook was really a torture to my stomach @_@
Ah well,the ingredients were simple enough...olive oil,minced garlic,fresh tomat,smoked milkfish (lovingly brought by my mom from Indo :D),rock salt,heavy sprinkle of mozarella cheese and chilli flakes...everything was mixed and ready in 5 min (after the pasta cooked of course)
I wanted to say nothing is better that a plate of pasta but being a glutton and for those who know me,it is kinda impossible statement to be believed *teehee*
I am looking forward for another round of this tonight...lalala,life is beautiful with wonderful food :D

Comfort Food - Sun with Moon

2009-12-15T23:20:00.000+08:00

Sun with Moon has always been my favourite Japanese Dining place in Singapore. Centrally located at Wheelock and always never fail to deliver good,quality food...their sashimi may not be the best cut but they are always really fresh and thickly cut. The price is affordable and they sastify my Japanese craving well yesterday.
I had wonderfully fatty unagi with thick slices of sashimi...ugh,I hv forgotten to ask them to exchange the prawn. I love my sashimi but raw prawn is never really my favourite...there is something about their slimy nature that make me go yuck. It's a lovely evening, the restaurant was full but not noisy.
Who said Monday has to be blue ;D

All about a cuppa...

2009-12-14T09:02:00.001+08:00

I have been a coffee addict since like forever,a day never really starts without a good cup of coffee...yes,there are times I will make do with amazingly drainwater like ones from office pantry but then again beggars can't be chosers right. There is something about coffee aroma,the bitterness that counteract the cloyness of sweet pastry or the oiliness of a curry puff. I adore Singaporean's kopi-c kosong,creamy yet bitter;Indonesian's giddily fragrant black coffee...the memory of my kung2's morning coffee boiling and the best is a good cappuccino. Nothing in this world that I love more in the cold morning other than a warm,frothy cappuccino with good lashing of cocoa powder.It is heaven that I have tasted while I was in OZ a few months ago.
I wonder what is so hard about finding good cuppa in Singapore, the kind that is creamy,strong yet smooth and a friendly barrista who will make small conversation with you obviously taking a lot of pride in what he does
Is it too much to ask, I wonder?

it's a Sunday thing...

2009-12-13T23:09:00.001+08:00

Many of us stop going church citing that there is no church good enough for them. The truth is it is all nothing but an excuse for their laziness in their relationship with Him.Face it,just like anything on earth right now,there is no such thing as perfect even a church. A church has no obligation to be the perfect one just for you.Your relationship with Him depends solely on yourself.If one church you been to wasn't to what you think is good,continue your search to something nearest to your so called criteria,find a pastor that you least detest and find ways to listen and read more on His words instead of sitting there and complaining about churches that you have not much impression on and wasting everyone's time,including yours.
As Matthew 7:4- And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye and do not consider the plank in your own eye?

Water 'big' baby ;p

2009-12-13T22:25:00.002+08:00

Swimming is a sport I have recently taken up regularly...regularly meaning I will strive to do it every morning before work and other than unforseen circumstances I will do it. I must say,I am not a swimmer nor am I a sports maniac. To say this as many people have commented that I must be some sort of sport junkie to do it every morning. My primary reasons are simple cos I love food and with my age,I have come to understand that flabby body needs to be work upon and not taking good care of it is really a plain display of laziness.
I don't swim for hours,maximum half hour and I don't purposely count my laps. I enjoyed the thorough workout and the adrenelin that perks me so in the morning.It is refreshing to say the least though the initial jump is always a pain ;p There is something abt the quietness of the activity that gives me the precious time to reflect and think. Nothing too serious most of the time but in many ways prep me up for the day. I love it even more when I have the luxury to take a short nap after on weekends.
Being healthy and living well is one of my new year's resolution and I am looking forward to a more toned body in time to come :)

Just Friends...

2009-12-13T21:30:00.001+08:00

What a cute face I thought
A long line of queue must there be for you
Doubtful you will ever take a second look of me
How willing I am just to admire you from afar
As lost I was in games of love
Arrogant you are not, flirty you try not
Nothing but a simple hi and lots of laughter in between
We are just buddies as I laugh at any kind of queries
No hope so no disappointment
Simple and easy we kept our mindless chats
Teasing and joking we were so good at
Somehow your trust I have slowly earned
Somehow that thick wall of yours have an opening
Could there be a maybe I somehow wonder...

Today, you told me abt her...
Today you told me how much you missed her
Today, you completely trusts me...
Today, you finally took me as a friend
Today, I realise... I have never really taken you as one

Being Faithful

2009-12-13T01:16:00.001+08:00

Infidelity versus being faithful...admist from the hottest news on Tiger Wood's infidelity,I just heard something no so pleasant today...2 married individuals,office romance and being seen. I don't really know what to react and yes as someone reminded me not long after that it is really none of my business. True enough,who am I to pass any judgement towards them and their behaviour doesn't affect me in anyway so why should I care at all. I have no idea, though the topic of cheating is still so close to me that it just send chills down my spine...
Is it really so hard to remain faithful? Is it so impossible to be in love continuous wth your spouse after a while? What is the essential element? Sex? That sense of thrill? That stroke of ego? I don't really know...it makes me sad as I wonder if it is all worth it as a close one is now currently suffering from the consequences of her action.

Christmas Shopping...

2009-12-11T21:19:00.001+08:00

I am never a person who enjoys shopping for gifts...I have no talent in figuring what people like or dislike,I end up buyong what I think they might like but somehow giving a total disaster :( Yes,I am that bad... Unless it is some random gifts...walking down town,admist of all the people I suddenly feel this terrible loneliness...Is it me or is this a norm to feel this way? Another festive season,another year...and this is my second year as a single,not that the year before that was anything happy. He accused me of terrorizing that one,I was so upset I left his house even though there was a family dinner. Not a pleasant event,I thought of him...infidelity had hurt me so deep that I don't really know if I ever get healed. Sometimes I wonder if I have actually close door of my heart.

So many people but I end up so lonely...yet,I am not willing to make do...I wonder if,that should be the right way?

I started a joke...

2009-12-11T13:41:00.001+08:00

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,
but I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no.

I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
and I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.

Til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
and I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.

'Til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was one me.

New Start...

2009-12-09T23:18:00.000+08:00

Hello... everything starts with a simple hello. I am starting this blog simply... being 30 and living life...